218 dead inside

 

179 a double life

I read a lot of posts on here of people struggling with daily, debilitating depression that plagues every aspect of their lives, making it difficult to do small things like even take a shower. I feel that I am on the opposite side of the spectrum and wanted to share that it is equally as horrible.

From an outsider's perspective, I appear to be a very happy and stable individual. I have a financially secure job and I go to work every day and not only try my best but actively try to get along with others and make people laugh every day. My coworkers like me, and some look up to me. No one would think I have any problems at all. However, I feel like I am hidden behind a veil, and when I come home from work and when I am in the privacy of my home, I am in such crippling depression. I have such terrible episodes of sadness. I hate myself. I over-analyze everything stupid I do or say throughout the day and I replay it in my mind constantly and belittle myself. I don't feel proud of myself for any of my accomplishments and genuinely don't know why anyone even likes me. And yet I still get up every day, live this routine, and put on a facade like I am okay. It feels like I am living a double life that I cannot escape.

source: https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/dpl4bu/highfunctioning_depression_i_feel_like_im_living/

176 Balacera

175 Sadness begone

159 Ya se va a acabar el año

Ya se va a acabar el año y nunca le dije que valió la pena cada risa, cada lágrima, cada pelea, y cada te amo.

unhijodeputa

153 I think I'm afraid of being happy

I think I'm afraid of being happy because whenever I get too happy something bad always happens.

Charlie Brown

149 Butters on sadness

Well yeah, and I’m sad, but at the same time I’m really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It’s like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin’ really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I’m feelin’ is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.

Butter, South Park

142 A veces se me olvida

A veces se me olvida que esto es un sueño y qué en realidad cuando despierte estaré a tu lado.

pinchermoso

Source: https://twitter.com/pinchermoso/status/231230821950955520

133 Dead Island: Paradise

121 We're all trash

We’re all trash, waiting to be thrown away.

Lotso, Toy Story 3

111 Last Minutes with ODEN

106 Death stroller

105 No happy endings

But there’s no happy endings, not here and not now. This tale is all sorrows and woes. You might dream that justice and peace win the day, but that’s not how the story goes…

(A series of unfortunate events, Netflix)

102 the worst party of having a mental illness

The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you DON'T.

Joker (2019)

101 It's like a panic attack

Stiles Stilinski: I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant overwhelming crushing fear that something terrible is about to happen.
Ms. Morell: It's called hyper vigilance. The persistent feeling of being under threat.
Stiles Stilinski: It's not just a feeling though. It's like it's a panic attack. You know, I can't even breathe.
Ms. Morell: Like you're drowning?
Stiles Stilinski: Yeah.
Ms. Morell: So, if you're drowning and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment. But if you choose to not open your mouth, to not let the water in.
Stiles Stilinski: You do it anyway. It's a reflex.
Ms. Morell: But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in. You have more time, right?
Stiles Stilinski: Not much time.
Ms. Morell: But more time to fight your way to the surface.
Stiles Stilinski: I guess.
Ms. Morell: More time to be rescued.
Stiles Stilinski: More time to be in agonizing pain. Did you forget about the part where you feel like your head's exploding?
Ms. Morell: If it's about survival, isn't a little agony worth it?
Stiles Stilinski: What if it just gets worse. What if it's agony now and then... then it's just hell later on?
Ms. Morell: Then think about what Winston Churchill once said: If you're going through hell... keep going



Stiles Stilinski - Teen Wolf S02E11

099 Hooray for me, because I'm a great guy?

Group Leader : We're not here to sit in judgement.

Jesse Pinkman : Why not? Why not? Maybe she's right. You know, maybe I should have put it in the paper. I should've done something different. The thing is, if you just do stuff and nothing happens... what's it all mean? What's the point? Oh, right, this whole thing is about self-acceptance.

Group Leader : Kicking the hell out of yourself doesn't give meaning to anything.

Jesse Pinkman : So, I should stop "judging" and accept? So, no matter what I do, hooray for me, because I'm a great guy? It's all good? No matter how many dogs I kill, I just, what, do an inventory and accept? I mean, you back your truck over your own kid and you, like, accept? What a load of crap!

Group Leader : Hey, Jesse, I know you're in pain...

Jesse Pinkman : No, you know what? Why I'm here in the first place... is to sell you meth. You're nothing to me but customers! I made you my bitch! You okay with that? huh? You accept?

Group Leader : No.

Jesse Pinkman : About time.



Breaking Bad S04E07 

089 Wheel of Emotions

088 A survivor from the wars in Bosnia Recounts his experience

068 the saddest people

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that. Robin Williams

025 military grief