Wednesday, June 26, 2019

018 I hate when people say “I’m sorry”

I hate when people say “I’m sorry” for stuff like this.

So. Here is what i want to share with you.
My dad died, it’s been 2 years already.
I wasn’t close to him, but for some reason, i miss him.
And honestly, i don’t believe that wounds like this heal ever.
Loss of someone in your life is hard as fuck.

And honestly, it took me a long time to even realize that i lost someone.
It was a confusing thing to me how someone can just disappear like that.
Alive one second, gone the next. Everything around keeps going, like nothing happened.
They don’t answer their phone anymore, the messages. They don’t call to ask how are
you, did you eat.
They don’t answer when you ask them something. It’s just silence.
I didn’t feel the pain for a long time. But after some time, it started coming, and it comes now and then.

It’s here now as i’m writing this.
So here is what i would say to you.
I hope that you remember her in the best possible way, that your thoughts go to the good times you had, to her beauty and love. To your good and even bad times yes.
And when you do feel pain, i hope you feel love too.
Her love for you, and your love for her.
You won’t get over the pain, there will always be an empty space in your life.
And i think that is good. I think pain is good.
Because it shows that you did and do love her.
It shows that she was someone important and special to you.
That she left a mark. And that she can’t be easily replaced.
The pain stays.

I personally embraced it.
And when it comes.
I just hug it.