"Were she better, or you sicker, then the stars would not be so terribly crossed, but it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he had Cassius note, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars/But in ourselves"
Peter was saying that the fault is in the nature of things..not in how you do them, or even just in yourself generally. This becomes important because it was “fate s fault” when Augustus died, not Gus’ fault. So therefore, the Fault is In Our Stars, and we can do nothing about it. We don’t have a choice in the matter.
You don’t have standards you have a wish list and you haven’t learned to parry it with reality.
Expecting somebody to perfectly fit your exact tick box/wish list is what Disney/romcoms have falsely taught you to expect from love. Find somebody to build a mould together with as you go along; don’t try to shove others into an unrealistic/unattainable mould.
"You give up the world line by line. Stoically. And then one day you realize that your courage is farcical. It doesn’t mean anything. You’ve become an accomplice in your own annihilation and there is nothing you can do about it. Everything you do closes a door somewhere ahead of you. And finally, there is only one door left."
Cormac McCarthy, The Sunset Limited
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power."
"I often don’t say things out loud, even when I should. I contain and compartmentalize to a disturbing degree: In my belly-basement are hundreds of bottles of rage, despair, fear, but you’d never guess from looking at me."
Nick - Gone Girl
Grandma? I did it, Grandma. [she opens her eyes] I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the shnozz our of Dr. Oz. [she frowns] I can’t lie, it felt kind of good. [she smiles] At first. But since then all I have is just… a kind of dark, empty feeling. Then I realized… that’s how you must feel. All the time. [her smile fades] Poor old Grandma. You know, I’ve I’ve been gettin’ lots of advice how to deal with you. Stand up to you, tell on you… But I kind of realize there’s just people like you out there. All over the place. When you’re a kid, things seem like they’re gonna last forever. But they’re not. Life changes. Why you won’t always be around. Someday you’re gonna die. [the anger leaves Grammy’s face] Someday pretty soon. [he approaches Grammy] And when you’re layin’ in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose, and that little pan under your butt to pee in, well I’ll come visit ya. I’ll come just to show you that, that I’m still alive and I’m still happy. And you’ll die. Bein’ nothin’ but you. [walks back to the door] ‘Night Grandma. [exits and closes the door]
What’s the most a single average person can do to help?
Consecrate your life to being the embodiment of your own highest ideals. The only thing that is consistent in your life is you. By making this thing, your ‘self’, as insightful, compassionate, useful, productive, loving, learned, determined …[virtue X] you guarantee that all events and relationships you engage in will have this positive aspect. You can’t control things beyond yourself, you can only contribute. The quality of your contribution is directly proportional to the quality of your person. Any specific set of actions, philosophies, philanthropies, ‘causes’ or the like are impermanent and only useful in a proper context and application. Therefore identification with or association of these activities as ‘the best’ will simply prevent you from actually being in the moment and responding, you will be reacting to your own idealized mental landscape. Moreover your knowledge of the impact of your actions is severely limited. However we might be aware of the impact of our actions in ways we can understand the butterfly affect of causality extends far beyond our awareness. Furthermore ideas are viral in their spreading. If others observe in you the embodiment of ideals they value and they see the effects of this in and through your actions they too may be inspired to refine themselves. This refracts throughout society as we inspire each other to evolve ourselves. To have a more evolved society we need more developed people to create it. To facilitate the development of others we can only lead by example, share the notes of our own growth journey and support each other.